Cars, Concerts, and "Clocks"

This week was all a rush!   I worked eight days in a row, between my teaching jobs and my retail job.  Then on my first day off I hostessed a bridal shower for my girlfriend Jeanette.  The next day we had scheduled a family portrait session for Bruce, Emmie, and myself.  We dressed the baby in an adorable Santa suit and all grinned for the camera.  By Sunday night I was exhausted and still needed to grade papers.

Now I am on another stretch, working every night and every other morning, alternating as an instructor and a sales associate. It's hard to be away from Emmie and Bruce in the evening.  He comes home, and I leave.  To be truthful, my absence has been the source of discord for us both, and I've already thought about quitting the seasonal job.  I know I just have to keep plowing along; when school ends I'll be glad I stuck it out.

This morning I was on the way to school when this song came on the radio in the car.  Last year, before I knew I was pregnant, Bruce and I bought tickets to Lollapalooza as our anniversary gift to each other.  By the summer, I was round with child, not what we had originally envisioned.  We went to all three days of the outdoor concert anyways. 

The first night, we saw Coldplay.  The sun was setting behind the skyline of the city, the buildings backlit a glowing Creamsicle orange and the lake in the East reflecting a deep cerulean blue.  The band came out and played a mix of the old tunes I have loved since before they were mainstream and songs from Mylo Xyloto that I hadn't yet heard.  If you didn't know, Coldplay puts on a mesmerizing light show which corresponds to their music.

Hormonal and awestruck underneath flashing green lasers and amidst a pulsating crowd, I started to cry.  Here I was, together with the husband I love and the child I was soon to have, every sense stimulated.  I felt so alive.

Once in a while, I hear Coldplay and I'm returned to that breezy summer night.  When this song started to play as I drove, I turned the volume up high.  At the end, Chris Martin sings, "You are - home, home.  Where I wanted to go."  The more I'm away from Bruce and Emmie, the more I understand that home is not a plot of land, four walls and a roof.  It's where your loved ones are.