Bruce is building me shelves next to my desk for all my books! Soon it'll be like my own little office - right next to the bar.
I can't think of a better set up!
Friday, June 28, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Birthday Blessings
Today is my birthday!
It was as high and low as one can get. This morning, I woke up early and got ready before Emmie awoke because I needed to take her over to my brother's. So that I could attend a funeral.
I've written before about an elderly couple I've been friends with since I was a teenager. I've always called them 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa'. Sadly, the gentleman passed away last week. I have been quietly mourning for days. Even though my friend lived a good, long life, the world is a little bit less bright without him in it. He was the kindest, humblest, sweetest man I've ever known. He loved God and reading and singing. When we would go out to lunch, the three of us, he would always take our hands when we received the food. He would bow his head and say grace. His hands were large and strong, but they shook uncontrollably. It was hard for him to eat with utensils. But he never let that, or anything else, stop him from enjoying every moment of life.
Now he's gone. His service was more beautiful than any one I've ever attended. He was a member of his church choir for over 75 years - can you imagine? They sang beautifully from the balcony, their voices and the chimes from the organ lifting up to heaven to serenade him. His son read Jane Kenyon's poem "Let Evening Come", and I don't think I was the only one brought to tears. My Grandma, his longtime companion, walked at the front of his casket, arm in arm with one of his daughters. At the cemetery, two soldiers from the U.S. Army saluted his grave, played "Taps" on the trumpet, and presented the folded American flag to his daughter. It was supposed to rain all day, but the sky turned radiant and steady during the burial. I hugged my Grandma and some of the family, said my goodbyes, and walked to my car alone, knowing that my life was blessed for having my Grandpa in it.
I picked up Emmie afterwards. She had a great time with my brother and mom. They love her so much, it swells my heart to see it. They both wished me Happy Birthday again, and I took Emmie home to put her down for her nap.
When Bruce got home, he and Emmie gave me a birthday card and two very thoughtful gifts - an art print I've been wanting and a membership to the local PBS station. The donation came with a DVD, and Bruce picked just the right one. It truly makes him happy to give to others. How did I get so lucky?
Then we made dinner together - chicken shawarma on a pita with hummus and a side of yellow basmati rice. It was amazing! The best part was, we were so proud that we made it ourselves. Emmie liked it, too.
Now Emmie's asleep, and Bruce and I are sitting on the couch, eating ice cream and watching the Cubs - so far they're winning! In the past we would go out to dinner, or the bar, or a show, but spending the evening at home suits me perfectly.
It's been quite a birthday. My friend's passing has made it all the more clear that life isn't about what's fancy or expensive or flashy. It's about sharing time with loved ones while you can and never losing sight of your blessings.
It was as high and low as one can get. This morning, I woke up early and got ready before Emmie awoke because I needed to take her over to my brother's. So that I could attend a funeral.
I've written before about an elderly couple I've been friends with since I was a teenager. I've always called them 'Grandma' and 'Grandpa'. Sadly, the gentleman passed away last week. I have been quietly mourning for days. Even though my friend lived a good, long life, the world is a little bit less bright without him in it. He was the kindest, humblest, sweetest man I've ever known. He loved God and reading and singing. When we would go out to lunch, the three of us, he would always take our hands when we received the food. He would bow his head and say grace. His hands were large and strong, but they shook uncontrollably. It was hard for him to eat with utensils. But he never let that, or anything else, stop him from enjoying every moment of life.
Now he's gone. His service was more beautiful than any one I've ever attended. He was a member of his church choir for over 75 years - can you imagine? They sang beautifully from the balcony, their voices and the chimes from the organ lifting up to heaven to serenade him. His son read Jane Kenyon's poem "Let Evening Come", and I don't think I was the only one brought to tears. My Grandma, his longtime companion, walked at the front of his casket, arm in arm with one of his daughters. At the cemetery, two soldiers from the U.S. Army saluted his grave, played "Taps" on the trumpet, and presented the folded American flag to his daughter. It was supposed to rain all day, but the sky turned radiant and steady during the burial. I hugged my Grandma and some of the family, said my goodbyes, and walked to my car alone, knowing that my life was blessed for having my Grandpa in it.
I picked up Emmie afterwards. She had a great time with my brother and mom. They love her so much, it swells my heart to see it. They both wished me Happy Birthday again, and I took Emmie home to put her down for her nap.
When Bruce got home, he and Emmie gave me a birthday card and two very thoughtful gifts - an art print I've been wanting and a membership to the local PBS station. The donation came with a DVD, and Bruce picked just the right one. It truly makes him happy to give to others. How did I get so lucky?
 |
| Mmmm! |
Then we made dinner together - chicken shawarma on a pita with hummus and a side of yellow basmati rice. It was amazing! The best part was, we were so proud that we made it ourselves. Emmie liked it, too.
Now Emmie's asleep, and Bruce and I are sitting on the couch, eating ice cream and watching the Cubs - so far they're winning! In the past we would go out to dinner, or the bar, or a show, but spending the evening at home suits me perfectly.
It's been quite a birthday. My friend's passing has made it all the more clear that life isn't about what's fancy or expensive or flashy. It's about sharing time with loved ones while you can and never losing sight of your blessings.
Monday, June 24, 2013
A Tale of Two Tornado Warnings
Many people who know me well and readers of this blog (documented here and sort of here and here and definitely here) are aware that I have an overwhelming fear of tornadoes. Like, checking my phone first thing in the morning to see how the weather will be that day. And pacing back and forth during a watch. Feeling sick to my stomach and shaky.
It's not something I'm proud of, and I certainly don't want it to affect Emmie some day.
A little less than two weeks ago, the meteorologists started cautioning that we were going to get awful, unimaginably bad storms. Or so they made it seem. In the wake of the nightmare tornadoes in Joplin, Missouri in 2011 and Oklahoma this year, I know they want us to be prepared. But it scared the shit out of me.
The morning of the now-infamous derecho, I checked my phone. This is the tweet I saw:
Bruce's dad.
I knew he wouldn't mind if we came over; in fact, he'd be happy to see Emmie. Plus, he cares so little about weather-related disaster that he would be a good balance for me. With the weather people blowing up the media, threatening danger later from Mother Nature, I decided to go for it while it was still calm outside. When Emmie woke up, I gave her some cereal, dressed her, packed a full diaper bag, and put her in the car. Off we went back to the in-laws' house.
Though Bruce was supportive, he did say over the phone at one point, "I can't believe we bought a house with a nice, finished basement for you to go in and you're leaving to spend time with my dad." I couldn't believe it, either.
When we got there, Dad couldn't have been more welcoming. We sat around in the living room, chatting all day long, while Emmie watched Bubble Guppies and Sesame Street and messed up their non-babyproofed house, just like the old days. Bruce's mom came home at lunch and held Emmie in her lap almost the whole time. I could tell that both grandparents were thrilled to have her back.
Bruce met us there when he got off work. By that time, the National Weather Service had upgraded their predictions to the rare "high risk" storm category. Bruce's mom came home earlier than her normal 5 o'clock - they decided to close the office early based on the hullabaloo. Soon after, the severe weather notifications started ringing my phone 'off the hook.' Then the sirens went off. We all rushed down to the basement.
Sitting on the cold, concrete floor, surrounded by my father-in-law's fishing equipment, we all tried to make the best of the situation. Bruce's mom got chairs and kept the conversation flowing. I felt panicky, but her chatter made the situation feel more normal. After a while, the warning expired and we went back upstairs.
Storms continued to roll through the evening, but they never got that bad. Late that night, we put a sleepy daughter in the car and went home. It had been way worse by our house. We passed downed trees on the road. A branch had come down on our fence, prying it apart from the post. Emmie's playhouse was on its side. Allegedly there was a tornado a few miles away. I was so, so glad that we weathered the storm at Bruce's parents' house.
Looking back on the experience, I can't believe how much has changed in a few short months. I went from - I hate to admit it - sometimes loathing living at that house to feeling relieved to be there. The interaction between Bruce's dad and I wasn't strained or awkward in the least. We actually laughed and had some good talks. I think for him, as well as me, the distance made our hearts grow fonder again. I chose to be in his company, after a year of sulking and hiding out in my husband's teenage bedroom.
This is so cheesy, but the storm somehow managed to mend our fences.
The weather's been fine until today, though there weren't any major red flags from the meteorologists. They said we could get some storms, but it didn't seem too ominous. Suddenly, while Emmie and I were playing in the basement and Bruce was cooking dinner upstairs, my phone alerted me of a severe thunderstorm warning. "This storm will be dangerous!" It practically yelled at me. "80 mph winds! Damage to houses expected! This could become a tornado! Take cover now!" It said it would hit our town in 20 minutes. Then the sirens went off.
Bruce quickly turned off the oven and hurried downstairs. Our basement is finished, but in the back, there are two doors to unfinished storage areas. One, nearest the sump pump, has no windows. The walls are covered in cedar plywood, and there is a sturdy wood shelving system, spacious enough to store large moving boxes, about four feet off the floor. They always say to get under something like a workbench to stay the safest, and this is mighty solid. Bruce moved some boxes out off the top of it, and we put the baby underneath. We crawled in after her. Minnie the cat stayed still in the room with us. Twenty long minutes went by, with me obsessively checking my phone. There were tweets that said a tornado was confirmed, that it was heading straight for our town. The lights started flickering. We could hear objects moving around outside. We pulled a comforter over us and attempted to cover Emmie with our bodies.
Here's the thing. That was pretty damn scary. But I never got seriously panicky! We did the best we could, and all we could do was ride it out. Just a minute until the warning would expire, I read that the tornado threat had diminished greatly. We tossed aside the comforter and opened the door to the storage room. After a few minutes, Bruce went upstairs to check out the damage. Nothing was amiss. A little while later, the weather service cancelled the severe thunderstorm watch for the night. All was calm again.
I mentally survived my first bad weather experience here at home. That doesn't mean that I'm in the clear, and I know I need to deal with my fear on a deeper level. But I got through it. In our last rental townhouse, we had to go under the stairs during tornado warnings. It was so claustrophobic. I would be miserable just thinking about the next bad time. But here, I'll know I managed to keep it together once already.
My hope is that in this new home, in this new life we are beginning, I can eventually learn to feel safe. To keep moving forward, even though I'll always have a place to go back to.
It's not something I'm proud of, and I certainly don't want it to affect Emmie some day.
A little less than two weeks ago, the meteorologists started cautioning that we were going to get awful, unimaginably bad storms. Or so they made it seem. In the wake of the nightmare tornadoes in Joplin, Missouri in 2011 and Oklahoma this year, I know they want us to be prepared. But it scared the shit out of me.
The morning of the now-infamous derecho, I checked my phone. This is the tweet I saw:
Potential for widespread significant weather w/ t-storms this afternoon. Please RT to get the message out! #staysafe http://t.co/3cgYpdZ93KThat message, "#staysafe", got my heart racing. Bruce was already at work, and the thought of being home alone with the baby and my fear all day was too much for me. I didn't want to be alone; being around people would quell my overactive imagination. I texted a friend, but he didn't answer. There was only one other person I knew who would be home all day.
— NWS Chicago (@NWSChicago) June 12, 2013
Bruce's dad.
I knew he wouldn't mind if we came over; in fact, he'd be happy to see Emmie. Plus, he cares so little about weather-related disaster that he would be a good balance for me. With the weather people blowing up the media, threatening danger later from Mother Nature, I decided to go for it while it was still calm outside. When Emmie woke up, I gave her some cereal, dressed her, packed a full diaper bag, and put her in the car. Off we went back to the in-laws' house.
Though Bruce was supportive, he did say over the phone at one point, "I can't believe we bought a house with a nice, finished basement for you to go in and you're leaving to spend time with my dad." I couldn't believe it, either.
When we got there, Dad couldn't have been more welcoming. We sat around in the living room, chatting all day long, while Emmie watched Bubble Guppies and Sesame Street and messed up their non-babyproofed house, just like the old days. Bruce's mom came home at lunch and held Emmie in her lap almost the whole time. I could tell that both grandparents were thrilled to have her back.
Bruce met us there when he got off work. By that time, the National Weather Service had upgraded their predictions to the rare "high risk" storm category. Bruce's mom came home earlier than her normal 5 o'clock - they decided to close the office early based on the hullabaloo. Soon after, the severe weather notifications started ringing my phone 'off the hook.' Then the sirens went off. We all rushed down to the basement.
Sitting on the cold, concrete floor, surrounded by my father-in-law's fishing equipment, we all tried to make the best of the situation. Bruce's mom got chairs and kept the conversation flowing. I felt panicky, but her chatter made the situation feel more normal. After a while, the warning expired and we went back upstairs.
Storms continued to roll through the evening, but they never got that bad. Late that night, we put a sleepy daughter in the car and went home. It had been way worse by our house. We passed downed trees on the road. A branch had come down on our fence, prying it apart from the post. Emmie's playhouse was on its side. Allegedly there was a tornado a few miles away. I was so, so glad that we weathered the storm at Bruce's parents' house. Looking back on the experience, I can't believe how much has changed in a few short months. I went from - I hate to admit it - sometimes loathing living at that house to feeling relieved to be there. The interaction between Bruce's dad and I wasn't strained or awkward in the least. We actually laughed and had some good talks. I think for him, as well as me, the distance made our hearts grow fonder again. I chose to be in his company, after a year of sulking and hiding out in my husband's teenage bedroom.
This is so cheesy, but the storm somehow managed to mend our fences.
The weather's been fine until today, though there weren't any major red flags from the meteorologists. They said we could get some storms, but it didn't seem too ominous. Suddenly, while Emmie and I were playing in the basement and Bruce was cooking dinner upstairs, my phone alerted me of a severe thunderstorm warning. "This storm will be dangerous!" It practically yelled at me. "80 mph winds! Damage to houses expected! This could become a tornado! Take cover now!" It said it would hit our town in 20 minutes. Then the sirens went off.
Bruce quickly turned off the oven and hurried downstairs. Our basement is finished, but in the back, there are two doors to unfinished storage areas. One, nearest the sump pump, has no windows. The walls are covered in cedar plywood, and there is a sturdy wood shelving system, spacious enough to store large moving boxes, about four feet off the floor. They always say to get under something like a workbench to stay the safest, and this is mighty solid. Bruce moved some boxes out off the top of it, and we put the baby underneath. We crawled in after her. Minnie the cat stayed still in the room with us. Twenty long minutes went by, with me obsessively checking my phone. There were tweets that said a tornado was confirmed, that it was heading straight for our town. The lights started flickering. We could hear objects moving around outside. We pulled a comforter over us and attempted to cover Emmie with our bodies.
Here's the thing. That was pretty damn scary. But I never got seriously panicky! We did the best we could, and all we could do was ride it out. Just a minute until the warning would expire, I read that the tornado threat had diminished greatly. We tossed aside the comforter and opened the door to the storage room. After a few minutes, Bruce went upstairs to check out the damage. Nothing was amiss. A little while later, the weather service cancelled the severe thunderstorm watch for the night. All was calm again.
I mentally survived my first bad weather experience here at home. That doesn't mean that I'm in the clear, and I know I need to deal with my fear on a deeper level. But I got through it. In our last rental townhouse, we had to go under the stairs during tornado warnings. It was so claustrophobic. I would be miserable just thinking about the next bad time. But here, I'll know I managed to keep it together once already.
My hope is that in this new home, in this new life we are beginning, I can eventually learn to feel safe. To keep moving forward, even though I'll always have a place to go back to.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
A Woman's Work
Hello there, friend! Remember me? It's been a while. I've been meaning to write, but somehow the time gets away from me. You know how it goes.
My face-to-face class got cancelled, but I am teaching another new online course, which means that even though I don't go anywhere, my spare time (between chores and child-rearing) is devoted to that line of work.
I usually work when the baby is sleeping, during naps or at night. Bruce's parents kindly gave us their old desk, the one I worked at in their house, because they no longer need it. It's set up in one corner of the basement. Bruce rigged my old desktop monitor to my laptop, so now it's like a real office. Eventually I'd like to get library-style bookshelves with the cupboards on the bottom to put some of my English books. I also want to frame and hang my degrees some day. In the meantime, I put up my trusted old friends: a copy of Robert Pinsky's poem "Library Scene" and by the window, a small print of Van Gogh's "Still Life with Bible."
I start the coffee and make some breakfast like oatmeal or toast with fruit, which Emmie and I share. By mid-morning, if it's nice outside, I try to start some laundry. It's funny to think that I do my chores based around the weather, but we don't have a clothes dryer yet. Instead, Bruce hung a clothesline in the back corner of the fence. That Bruce - he surprises me every day with his endless handiness. There's just something about the fresh scent of clothes hung outside that a dryer could never replicate.
Emmie and I play inside or outside for a while and then have lunch. She naps in the early afternoon, and I shower and work or relax. Then Bruce is home and it's time for dinner. Maybe we go for a walk the evening. We've been trying to explore our town when we have the energy. One night we walked to the ice cream shop that happens to only be 15 minutes away on foot. Another night we drove down to the river and strolled around the bordering path. Then bedtime for the baby and chill time for Mama and Dada. Most nights, we've been able to sleep with the windows open.
Today I am feeling especially like a homemaker. I donned an apron and baked a loaf of banana bread for a friend who just gave birth. The whole house filled with the warm, sweet smell. I hung some clothes on the line and stood back to admire my yard. I feel like I'm from another, simpler time, where woman's daily work was to keep house. I'm enjoying it more than I could have ever known.
In fact, I am grateful for it.
My face-to-face class got cancelled, but I am teaching another new online course, which means that even though I don't go anywhere, my spare time (between chores and child-rearing) is devoted to that line of work.I usually work when the baby is sleeping, during naps or at night. Bruce's parents kindly gave us their old desk, the one I worked at in their house, because they no longer need it. It's set up in one corner of the basement. Bruce rigged my old desktop monitor to my laptop, so now it's like a real office. Eventually I'd like to get library-style bookshelves with the cupboards on the bottom to put some of my English books. I also want to frame and hang my degrees some day. In the meantime, I put up my trusted old friends: a copy of Robert Pinsky's poem "Library Scene" and by the window, a small print of Van Gogh's "Still Life with Bible."
On a given day, I wake up and go get Emmie, who's standing in her crib, ready to tell me that she's "wet." I change her, and we go downstairs for breakfast. I give her some milk and cereal, which she takes over to the front window. One of the wonderful things about moving when we did is that we were able to enjoy all the nice weather in the new house. I open the curtains and windows. Emmie observes the goings-on of our little street. Minnie the cat squats by the back patio door, hungrily eyeing the birds as they flit about the yard.
I start the coffee and make some breakfast like oatmeal or toast with fruit, which Emmie and I share. By mid-morning, if it's nice outside, I try to start some laundry. It's funny to think that I do my chores based around the weather, but we don't have a clothes dryer yet. Instead, Bruce hung a clothesline in the back corner of the fence. That Bruce - he surprises me every day with his endless handiness. There's just something about the fresh scent of clothes hung outside that a dryer could never replicate.
Emmie and I play inside or outside for a while and then have lunch. She naps in the early afternoon, and I shower and work or relax. Then Bruce is home and it's time for dinner. Maybe we go for a walk the evening. We've been trying to explore our town when we have the energy. One night we walked to the ice cream shop that happens to only be 15 minutes away on foot. Another night we drove down to the river and strolled around the bordering path. Then bedtime for the baby and chill time for Mama and Dada. Most nights, we've been able to sleep with the windows open.
Today I am feeling especially like a homemaker. I donned an apron and baked a loaf of banana bread for a friend who just gave birth. The whole house filled with the warm, sweet smell. I hung some clothes on the line and stood back to admire my yard. I feel like I'm from another, simpler time, where woman's daily work was to keep house. I'm enjoying it more than I could have ever known.
In fact, I am grateful for it.
Friday, June 7, 2013
Setting the Bar
Bruce finally got the bar in the basement he's always dreamed of. Who needs to go out when you can go underground?
Have a fantastic weekend! RYG!
Monday, June 3, 2013
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