I'm taking my daughter to daycare tomorrow.
I'm taking my daughter to daycare tomorrow.
This thought has been on continuous loop in my head all day. I should also be thinking, 'I'm starting a new job tomorrow,' but I'm not. I can't believe the time is here to part from my little girl!
I'm currently in the middle of filling out the paperwork at the kitchen table. I'm reading the DCFS pamphlet,"Summary of Licensing Standards for Day Care Centers," and I had to walk away for a moment. It's overwhelming.
Every since I accepted the museum job, Bruce and I have been researching childcare. Unfortunately, family help was not an option for us at this time. Therefore, I looked up daycare facilities online and called three or four in the immediate area and priced them out. I reached out to local acquaintances for references, too. Last week, we visited one affordable daycare we found online and one lady who runs a home daycare that was recommended.
The daycare had mainly positive online reviews, just some small gripes from one mom. When we visited Emmie immediately started playing with the children in the classroom. She actually cried when we left! We liked the teacher, but the director was elderly and a little - how should I say this? - loopy. For instance, she was praising the teacher and said, "Oh, she's been with us for what? Four or five years now?" To which the teacher corrected gently, "Two and a half years. But it feels like longer!" Since Emmie would mainly be interacting with the teacher, who was sweet and seemed dependable, we decided it was a non-issue. Overall, it was a clean, kid-friendly, established place. The kids would go outside to the center's playground twice a day, but there will probably not be any field trips for the two-year-olds. However, we did feel that Emmie would be safe, well taken care of, and would receive structure if she enrolled there.
The lady who runs the home daycare was nice and laid back. She watches her own children, as well as a a few local children of friends and others who've discovered her through word of mouth. She had her house set up like a little daycare, with fun play areas, a nap room, tons of books, and a fenced-in backyard with a swing set and other fun outdoor activities. Emmie also began immediately playing with the kids, who are all different ages. We really liked the lady, especially how she said she would take the kids out on walks and to the park, and that her philosophy was for "the kids to feel like they're over at a friend's house."
Honestly, either way Emmie would be in fine hands. And I know that Emmie would be fine with either place. In the end, as much as it shames me to admit this, the choice came down to cost. My paycheck from the museum will give us very little additional income after we pay childcare, so every dollar counts. The daycare is a little cheaper, and we have a voucher for a free week of tuition that we got from our local Welcome Wagon-type organization. Our decision was made.
Anyways, if we don't think it's working out we can always try something else. Plus, the museum closes during the winter, so really this whole thing is only for a a few months. A couple days a week for a few months.
I just called the daycare and asked them a bunch of questions. The person who answered the phone was very cheerful and had all the answers, which relieves me a bit. Tomorrow I'll get ready for work, wake up Emmie, get her dressed, feed her breakfast, and we'll go to the daycare. She'll have a little backpack with a change of clothes, a pillow, and a blanket. They're going to give me a personal pin number to enter the facility. I'll give Emmie a hug and leave. Then I'll go to work and pick her up in the evening.
Deep breaths.
I know how fortunate we were that I was together with Emmie for almost three years. She's only ever been watched by family. Last weekend I talked to parents who were taking their six-month-old to daycare Monday through Friday. I can't even imagine. Of course, the sad memory of the woman I worked with at the hotel who came back to work after six weeks stays with me always. It's been a tough road, but a very, very blessed one to be home with Emmie.
The bright side is that Emmie's pretty excited to "go to school." I've been prepping her, telling her about how she'll be with the teacher and the kids, and she can bring a pillow and blankie, and needs to take a nap at nap time. She's a brave, independent, social little girl, so I have confidence that she'll adjust well. It's me I'm worried about.
What if she gets hurt? What if she cries, gets scared, and I can't comfort her? What if - God forbid- someone mistreats her? Will she contract illnesses from the other kids? Will she pick up bad behaviors? Everything feels so unknown. How does anyone do this?
I will do my best to sleep soundly tonight and shed as few tears as possible tomorrow morning. I will try to pay attention at work, and not freak out if I can't check my cell phone every two seconds. I will maybe call the daycare during my break, but I will remain calm. I will. It's going to be a long first day.
Here we go.
