One long, eventful year.
I'm sitting at the table, in the kitchen of our same house. Across from me on his own laptop is Bruce, who is technically working from home today. His new job allows him to do that, and it's been a big plus for our family.
In the living room is Emmie, watching Curious George, off from preschool for winter break. She's also just been getting over a bug. A bug I suspect she got when we took her to Chuck E. Cheese for her 4th (!) birthday last week.
The greatest new addition this year is rocking gently in her swing, making small cooing sounds. Hannah was born just two months ago, in the same hospital as her sister, with a full head of hair and a dimple set into chubby cheeks. She laughed for the first time today when Bruce tickled her.
We are now a family of four.
So much has happened this year I couldn't possibly recap everything. I got pregnant and had a baby. Bruce left his old job for one with a better position, pay and benefits. We had many fun-filled adventures with Emmie before she started preschool and the baby arrived, including a road trip to St. Louis, watching Inside Out at the drive-in movie theater, a camping trip with friends, and many visits to Chicago.
Emmie's grown up so much this year, not only in the way her body has left the roundness of babyhood and developed the lankiness of childhood, but in the way her imagination and knowledge continues to expand. She teaches us things she learns at her nature preschool all the time, like when we went for a walk and she told me that the fuzzy caterpillar we saw is called a "woolly bear." She can write her letters, and has started sounding out words. She makes up elaborate stories and silly songs. She's obsessed with princesses even more than before, but she also plays with toy cars and builds with blocks for hours. She can draw a snowman. Best of all, Emmie is an amazing big sister. Nothing can compare to witnessing your first child learning to love a sibling.
One of my proudest accomplishments for the year was that I started an adult creative writing group at the local library. I always enjoyed the communal aspect of workshopping in college writing classes, and desired to join a group. When I discovered that there was no existing one here, I pounced on the chance to create my own, and offered my experience as an English instructor to the Adult Services Director. We collaborated for a few months, and the group had its first meeting in June. The group is open to the public, meets once a month, and has about eight dedicated members, with others joining from time to time. It's been entirely gratifying. I have a reason to get serious about writing, and people to share with. They, in turn, seem truly appreciative of the group, which is a reward in itself.
With all the positive changes 2015 brought, it hasn't been without its hardships. Bruce and I made some substantial sacrifices to improve our financial situation. Because he changed jobs in the middle of my pregnancy, we had to act fast to smooth out all the wrinkles. We got another car because he has a much farther commute. We dealt with insurance issues, like getting COBRA. Starting fresh also meant Bruce no longer qualified for FMLA. Luckily, his boss is super flexible and allowed him to work from home after the baby was born.
He wasn't the only one who had to. Back in the spring, I accepted an online course that started ten days after Hannah was due. As the date approached, I was wracked with anxiety about it. Though I wouldn't have to leave the house, and we could use the money, I didn't want anything to muddle my first days with the baby, my first days as a mother of two. Of course, Hannah was "late." As time crept closer to the start of class, and I still hadn't had the baby, my distraught worsened. Hannah was finally born four days before my class started. The night we came home from the hospital, I was on the computer, posting an orientation letter to my students. My body was out of whack, my mind wasn't in the game, and my emotions were high. The students demanded my attention, but I had a baby needing me more, and another daughter who suddenly had to share her mother. I hated that I had to work, and spent many days and nights sobbing to Bruce over it. It was too much. But we got through it, and I am reminded that my career actually places me at an advantage, because I get to be home with my girls well beyond when a traditional maternity leave would've ended.
The worst was that one of my best friends was diagnosed with a devastating disease this year. Thankfully, it was caught early. She was a total champion through the brutal treatment process, and is now in recovery. Still, it will never be the same. We're only in our thirties - it feels too soon to be marked by illness.
I'm starting to accept that that's life, that things change and nothing can be taken for granted. Babies are born, we get older, couples are formed and broken, people get sick, and some leave us. We have our carefree moments, and the times that transform us.
A friend asked me recently if I would ever post on my blog again. It was a question I asked myself often over the past year. Concluding it last New Year's Eve seemed fairly apt. I thought, maybe I should just leave it at that. But there's more I want to say, more life I want to chronicle. Starting again on New Year's Eve feels pretty fitting, too.
2016, I'm ready for you.
To a very happy new year!
