Homebody

Most days lately Emmie and I are confined indoors, due to the miserable weather we've been having.  We were able to get Bruce's old car running, but he's been driving the newer car to be on the safe side.  It's the one with the car seat, so we have no choice but to stay inside.  The hours go by slowly, one day running into the next.  To top it off, Emmie's had digestive issues this week and has been unpredictably cranky.  There are times when I feel caught in an internal whiteout.

I was telling a dear old friend how much I appreciate having a husband who comes home at 4 o'clock every day.  When her children were little, her husband traveled all week long.  He was mainly home on weekends.  I can't even imagine what that would be like, stuck in the house day after day, shouldering all the responsibilities.

The way I've been managing the winter doldrums is by livening up my enclosure.  I've been adding little touches to our home decor here and there, with what funds and resources I have to work with, predominantly through leftover Christmas presents.  I had a gift card from my parents that I used to get a new burlap lampshade.  The old one on our candlestick floor lamp was outdated and worn.  Inspired by - what else? - Pinterest, I added a touch of ribbon to give it some texture.







Bruce and I also rearranged the living room, and it's now much more open and spacious.  For some reason, the room layout makes us feel content now.

Bruce's aunt gave us a gift card to HomeGoods, and I was able to get a cute little owl shelf for the bathroom, an accent pillow for our bed, and new placemats and cloth napkins to match our kitchen.  Those small details make me cheerful each time I see them.  

I had my family over for dinner and made homemade spring rolls. My brother, noticing I was chopping scallions, told me a fun trick: save the bottom white bulb and place the roots in a shallow amount of water in a jar.  They'll grow back and you'll have green onions forever!  In this picture, the scallions on the left are three days old, and the right bunch are one day.  It's been two weeks and they are about 8 inches tall!  I like watching them grow, and it adds a bit of green life to the house.

Then today I went to our local Goodwill (I am not a total fan of this organization, but that's maybe for another post).  Anyways, I've been looking for an end table, and I found a great one for $12.99!  I'm going to paint it one of these days.  I also found a piece of art, Mediterranean Gold by Michael O'Toole, and its companion Portofino Waterfront.  Bruce and I love art; we get the Art.com catalogs, and he has always expressed a desire to own Mediterranean Waterfront.  I got them both for $4!  What a fantastic find.

Right now, Bruce is putting up the Stafford shelves I got him for Christmas to display his pint glass collection.  We debated where the best place was to hang them in the basement, and decided on the soffit, so that they are out of the way and less likely to get bumped or broken.  He painted them white so the focus would be on the glasses themselves.

Projects aside, in order to not turn into lumpy weak people, I set up our old Wii.  Emmie and I play Just Dance 2014.  Well, I play and she runs around me.  I've also been exercising via YouTube videos and DVDs.

Still, the other day I was climbing the walls, so as soon as Bruce got home from work (after being caught in an actual whiteout on the roads), I left and went to Panera with my laptop.  I worked and ate dinner by myself.  I can honestly say that was the first time I left Bruce and Emmie and didn't feel bad about it.

I'm pretty envious of my friends in California and Florida right now!  Just think, it's only January.  I keep reminding myself that I'm in this together with every other cold climate dweller.

Anyways, soon it'll be Groundhog Day.  Hope that whistle-pig doesn't see his shadow!  I already feel like it's the same day over and over again.

Growing Up

Oh my gosh, I'm so excited right now!  I'm sitting in a café, by myself, writing.  There's good tunes on the sound system, and I feel like a previous version of myself, the cool one who was free to go places and chill and do whatever.

I just dropped Emmie off at her weekly toddler cooking class.  This is her second time going.  Last week, when I took her, I expected that I would stay and supervise.  That's how all her other baby classes have been.  But when I saw the other moms leaving, I looked at the teachers with huge question marks in my eyes.  "Should I... go?" I asked hesitantly.

The teacher smiled.  "Yup!  She'll be fine," she encouraged.  She must be used to moms with separation anxiety.

Emmie was already off playing (she has even more confidence than I did as a kid, according to my mom).  I tried to give her a wave, but she didn't see me.

Slowly, I left, glancing backwards with each few steps.  I sat in the car for a minute.  I'm not going to lie; I cried a little.

Does that seem ridiculous?  Ever since Emmie turned 2, she's been reaching milestones at an exponential rate.  We've been potty training her, and lately she's switched to pull-up diapers.  We put her highchair away; now she sits in a booster seat at the kitchen table.  She got her big girl bed, and she's transitioned to it quite naturally.  Last week, we took her to the pediatrician, and we didn't need to schedule another appointment.  She doesn't need to see the doctor again for a whole year!  Now, I take her to class and she does her own thing.

This is uncharted territory for me.  I'm lucky to say that Emmie and I are almost always together.  Sure, I've left her before with my folks or Bruce's, my brother or a friend, but I always knew what was going on.  I had a good idea what it would be like at their house or mine.  When I would return, I would get a run-through of Emmie's actions.  Now Emmie is making her own memories, having her own experiences, ones that I cannot share or really know.

Last week I ended up going to a nearby thrift store I've been meaning to check out.  I browsed the knick-knacks absentmindedly, wondering what my child was doing.

When I picked her up, she was already bundled in her coat and hat.  She eyed me, but continued to run around the play area.  She hadn't missed me at all.  "How was she?" I asked her teacher.

"She was great!  No problems at all.  In fact, I think she enjoyed the snack more than any of the kids," the teacher laughed.

That's my girl.  She told me what she ate on the ride home: celery, peanut butter, and raisins, a.k.a. 'ants on a log'.  She had a blast.

This week, I was prepared to leave her.  I knew I would walk here to this bakery café.  I brought my laptop; I had a plan.  I kissed Emmie goodbye, and she skipped away.

I guess we're both growing up.

Breakdowns and Bedrooms

Sun dog above the horizon

I'm pleased to report that we survived the polar vortex of 2014.  However, our old car didn't.  Bruce took it to work the day it was -16° outside, and it never started again.  We figure the weather killed the battery.  It's just another frustrating problem we'll have to pay for.

That day, Bruce got a ride home and along the way snapped this shot of what we came to learn is the phenomenon known as a "sun dog."  Emmie and I missed all the freakish weather because we stayed cooped up for four ~ l o n g ~ days.  I'm really glad we had our own house this year, because I don't want to imagine what it would've been like if we still lived with Bruce's parents!

While I've basically been a winter bum, Bruce funneled his energy into completing projects left and right.  The day after his car broke down, he took the day off work and finished painting our bedroom.  I'm so happy with the green!  The brown didn't look bad, it just made me feel all bland.  This green is vibrant, recalling springtime and reawakening.  It goes perfectly with the new piece of art we got for Christmas, thanks to my parents, Klimt's "Tannenwald," as well as my old favorite, Van Gogh's "Trees and Undergrowth."  Can you tell we're going for a forest theme in our bedroom?

I also get this cool Art Nouveau, absinthe vibe from it:

But so far, it hasn't given me any psychedelic dreams.

Emmie tries out her new bed

The other project Bruce accomplished was converting Emmie's crib into a toddler bed! I don't know when we got the brilliant idea to do this, but we realized quickly that maybe we should've done a little research first.  It was all fun and games until naptime, when Emmie cried and refused to sleep in it.  No matter how we encouraged her and kept putting her back down, she kept getting out and playing with the toys in her room.  Her new found freedom was both intimidating and overwhelming to her.  She never slept that first day.

By nighttime, though, she was exhausted and fell fast asleep.  In the morning, she got up and grabbed a toy, and returned to her bed to play quietly.  We left her door open a crack the night before, so after a while, she peered her head out and saw me across the hall.  "Hi Mama," she said shyly and then ran into my outstretched arms.

"Emmie!" I praised.  "You slept in your bed like a big girl!"

This winter is certainly causing some setbacks, but in here, we're moving right along.

#ChiBeria

Okay, this winter is out of control.  Right now, it's -14°F, with a wind chill of -41°F!  I've been reading waaaay too much about the weather on Twitter (surprise, surprise) and apparently, in these kinds of conditions, it would only take 5-10 minutes for frostbite to set in.

All the schools are closed, and many stores and businesses, too.  Despite the Illinois Department of Transportation and the National Weather Service urging people NOT to travel, Bruce still went into work this morning.

Emmie and I, on the other hand, are safely snuggled up indoors, and will be for the foreseeable future.  I have nowhere to go for a while.  On Saturday, I had an 11-4 shift at the store.  We were supposed to go to Bruce's cousins' house later that night with his family, and they live near the mall.  So Bruce drove me to work and went to hang out with his folks.  Well, it turns out, that was my last day at the store.  All the seasonal employees were dropped from the schedule because this year wasn't as profitable as expected.  Part of me was sad; I liked working there, and I really liked the discount.  The other part of me was relieved, though.  This winter has been awful and every time I had to work there were hazardous conditions.  It wouldn't be such a big deal if it was closer, but I have to take the expressway to get there and dark rural roads.

Last Saturday was no exception to this.  The weather people declared a Winter Storm Warning, predicting 6-12" of snow over the weekend.  Bruce's cousins ended up cancelling their party, so Bruce and Emmie picked me up from work at 4, and we made the slow, distressing journey home.  The roads were covered, and cars were skating around everywhere.  It took more than twice as long as normal to get home.

Once we were here, I was elated.  No plans all weekend! No worrying about traveling anywhere.  We had food, drink, and warmth.  We could stay indoors and watch the blizzard happen around us.

And it did.  On Sunday, we woke up to a world of white.  Neighbors were outside shoveling, trying to keep up with the snowfall.  After breakfast, Bruce went outside to brush off the car and shovel.  Two awesome things happened then.

I've written before about how there is an apartment complex with an unpaved driveway right up against the side of our house.  We share a driveway with our neighbor, and the apartment driveway is on the other side of ours.  It's really unsightly.  Well, it's actually a blessing in disguise, because the landlord contracts a snowplow to clear their entrance.  I've seen it come before, and it always plows part of our driveway, too.  So Bruce was out there and the guy drives up.  "Is it okay if I plow yours?" He asks, half kidding.  Of course it's okay!  The snowplow driver tells Bruce it's easier to go across our driveway and push the snow into our neighbor's yard, rather than into the street.  Bruce stood back while the guy did his thing.

Buh-bye, snow!

After the plowing was done, there was still snow to be removed.  Right then, the lady who lives in the other half of the duplex came outside.  She has a snowblower, and offered it to Bruce.  He's never used one before, but got the hang of it right away.  What a lifesaver! She said we could use it any time, which is a pretty nice deal.  She gets her half of the driveway plowed, and Bruce doesn't have to shovel.

Later, we bundled Emmie up and took her in the backyard to play in the snow.  It was really cold yesterday, but nothing compared to what today and tomorrow will be like.  We figured she needed to get out of the house, or she'd go stir crazy.  We played for a few minutes, then came inside.  We spent the rest of the day working on the house and hanging out as a family.  With Emmie's birthday and the holidays over the past couple weeks, we really can't remember the last time we spent a whole day together, just the three of us.

We capped off our snow day with a cup of hot chocolate and extra marshmallows.  Emmie even drank it out of a real (plastic) mug!  Us grownups know how bitter winter can be, but to her, it's full of sweet new adventures.

Emmie's checks out her igloo

Date Night

It's Friday night and what are we crazy kids up to?  Bruce is finally painting our bedroom!  And I'm the supervisor/beertender.

I'm already loving the color - Dutch Boy's "Fresh as Spring."  The master bedroom in our rental townhouse was a similar green.  Back when we bought the house, we chose this color but never got around to using it, until now.  Anything will be an improvement on the peanut butter color that was in here when we moved in.

I can't wait to see the finished product.  I think it will really brighten up the long winter blues we have in front of us.

Rituals and Resolutions

For as long as I can remember, I have written all down all important dates on a wall calendar.  Specifically, a castles calendar.  I love castles.  It's the fairy tale + architecture side of me combined.  When I lived in Europe, I was able to visit several of them.  Otherwise, I admire them from the pages of my calendar.

In December of 2004, before we were dating, Bruce overheard me telling a friend that I couldn't find a castles calendar anywhere.  That was back when I frequented Borders bookstores and never did any online shopping.  Later that night, we were all hanging out at Denny's house, and Bruce presented me with a castles calendar he found at a random store.  He saved the day, and I think that's when I started developing feelings for him!  Bruce has given me a castles calendar for Christmas every year since.

Anyways, it's a ritual for me to ring in the New Year by transferring all the information over from the old calendar to the new one.  I mark all special dates with different colored Sharpie markers.  I know, I'm a total dork.  But I don't care.  It's my thing.  You might rely on your iPhone or whatever to remember dates, but heavens forbid it falls in the toilet or whatnot.  My castles calendar will be safely hanging on the wall, behind my bedroom door.  This way, I never forget a birthday or anniversary.  Paper covers technology.

This morning, I worked on my calendar.  Doing this always gets me thinking about the past and the future.  I get to revisit the events of the last year, like weddings and social functions we've attended.  I also get to envision what this next year will be like.  What do I want to happen?

I've seen a lot of blog posts with New Year's resolutions and a bunch about not making resolutions this year.  Bruce and I don't have resolutions, per se, rather goals we want to achieve.  Last year, we set our sights on buying our first home, and we happily accomplished that.  This year, we plan on saving more and paying off a sizable amount of debt.  We were doing really well until we bought the house.  Then we used all our savings for the down payment and other things last year.  With the new mortgage, we started using credit cards again when we couldn't pay cash.  This year, we are committed to spending only what we can afford.  

This will mean buckling down and saying no.  No to eating out as often, to going out with friends to the bar, to travel, etc.  Anything that isn't necessary will be scrutinized.  Of course, I don't want to drop off the face of the planet, but I don't want to keep watching our income go straight to credit card payments anymore.  Our livelihood will be so much better in the future if we can get rid of this debt.

Debt is like fat.  It's as easy to swipe a credit card as it is to eat a big greasy cheeseburger.  But then you pay for it later, because it's so hard to get rid of.  Bruce's and my other goal is to continue losing weight and living a healthier lifestyle.  Bruce lost over 30 lbs last year! And since I started counting calories in October, I've lost 16.  I'd like to lose at least 20 more, we'll see.  I try to do yoga or a workout video on YouTube every other day.  Bruce is going to join the gym at his work.  When it gets nicer out, I want to do a lot more walking, biking, and playing outdoors together as a family.

We want to raise Emmie to understand that it's important to take care of her body.  We eat fresh fruits and vegetables every day, but we could do more to eat well.  I had a couple students last term write really convincing argumentative papers about the benefits of vegetarianism.  While we like being meat-eating Midwesterners, we realize that we can cut out a potion of the meat we eat on a regular basis.  Thus, we are going to start practicing Meatless Mondays.  I'm actually kind of excited about this, because there's a lot of great vegetarian recipes I'd like to try.

By eating better, I also mean to eat better quality food.  I'd like to start getting seasonal produce.  If we can afford to shop at the Farmer's market during the warmer months, we will.  I want to be more conscious about how my food is grown, made, and raised.  I think that eating 'closer to the earth' is good for our bodies as well as the planet.

I've become increasingly aware of how humans treat the earth.  I have this thing, a Catholic-guilt thing.  It affects how I live my life, how I treat others, even how I think.  I always imagine me at the gates of heaven.  St. Peter is standing there, and he shows me a movie montage of my life.  "Remember when you did this?" he asks, and I see me behaving badly, like hurting someone's feelings.  Then I feel bad.  This image deters me from doing what I believe to be wrong.

Well, I had a thought the other day.  Humanity's religions are guides for how we should treat ourselves and others.  There are political laws in place for these purposes as well.  They even dictate how we should treat animals.  But what about the earth?  What if I was standing at the pearly gates, and I see a playback of all those years I lived in the city and didn't recycle?  Or when I used to smoke and would throw cigarette butts out the window?  I feel totally guilty about that.  The only penance I can do is to treat the earth better going forward.  I want to do what I can: recycle, of course, but also create less waste, use environmentally-friendly cleaning products.  I want to get a rain barrel this year for watering plants, for instance.

Becoming an adult and a parent has changed me.  I realize now that everything I do has an effect, not only on my life, but on Emmie's, and everyone else's.  In 2014, and all subsequent years of my life, I will keep trying to improve.  I'm not going to punish myself if I'm not perfect, but that will be the overarching objective - to keep trying.

If I look back at all my castles calendars, they show what I did and where I went over the years.  However, they don't really reflect how I've grown as a person.  That can only be measured by how I live my life and the legacy I leave behind.