Happy Day After Valentine's Day! Last night Bruce, Emmie, and I went out to dinner. Every chance we get to be alone is so sweet. And we needed an escape to put the week's events out of our minds for a while.
We never seem to be short of drama in this household, and Bruce's upcoming birthday is no exception. The old adage: "Treat others as you wish to be treated" doesn't seem to apply here. His family makes a HUGE deal out of birthdays (really, any day that involves presents). Remember last year when we went up to Milwaukee to see his sister on her birthday? What I failed to mention was that we took the trip last minute, dropping plans we had with friends, in order to be there for her because her friends had bailed. We ended up having a really fun time.
The problem is, Bruce's birthday never seems to get the same attention. And he's fed up. It's not that he needs special treatment for a random 30-something birthday. He's not a little boy. We're both just tired of being considerate towards others and not receiving the same consideration back. On several of his birthdays, his parents or sister have gone on vacations. He's heard, "Sorry, we won't be able to make it. Let's do something when we get back" many times. We celebrate according to their schedules.
This year, his mother announced the time, place, and people who would be attending his birthday dinner. She invited her friends, a couple who just happen to be in town. Bruce was never asked what he wanted to do. And it's not like his parents are paying for this occasion, either. Oh, no. In the past, they have grabbed the check and then told us what we owed. Bruce is the only family member who is expected to pay on his own birthday.
Naturally, the arrangements for this Saturday bothered him. He doesn't feel like it's necessary for us all to go out and spend money, since he and I already had dinner plans for Valentine's. He would rather stay home and hang out, family members only. When he said something to his parents, his mother said "Fine" and promptly cancelled all plans. She called his sister and told her not to come. Apparently his mom is miffed that all her hard work went unappreciated. After all, if she didn't plan the party, who would? I guess she assumes we, two adults, are incapable.
Bruce's sister was concerned and smelled funny business. It's a familiar odor around here. So she called Bruce; they talked, and she is still coming. She's fine with staying in and being casual. It's good that she's going to be around this year.
Last night, after we put Emmie to bed, Bruce tried to air his feelings to his father. His dad defended Mom's actions and told Bruce that to other people, "Birthdays aren't that big a deal." Ha! Are you kidding? Well, we'll see if that's the case when we make other plans on their birthdays.
Last year, on my birthday, we had just recently moved in. We didn't celebrate on the actual day because Dad goes to a regular Tuesday night poker game. If it had been just Bruce, Emmie, and me, we would've had some cake after dinner. But instead we had to wait. I really hope we're not here for my next birthday, so we can enjoy it as we please. Which brings me to my next post...
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