Times, They Aren't a-Changin'

When I was a teenager I was a server in a restaurant famous for pie.  Bruce and Denny worked there, too.  I often had the Sunday morning shift and served the church-going crowd.  Because I am a big fan of the elderly, I chatted up a couple of regulars.  Over time, we became close and have stayed in contact all these years.  I cherish both of their friendships.

They are now in their nineties and the gentleman is in a nursing home.  I talk with the lady on the phone and we send cards for special occasions.  Since I'm back in town, I was able to take Emmie to meet her.  She asked how I was doing with everything.  I told her it was an adjustment, but I was trying to make the best of it and focus on the positive. 

Then she told me how she lived with her in-laws, way back when.  It was after World War II and she said good apartments in Chicago were hard to come by.  Her husband had just graduated college and they already had a baby.  The story sounded pretty familiar.

The thing is, it wasn't just her in-laws she moved in with.  After the Great Depression, her in-laws had taken in some other family and they never moved out.  So my friend lived with her in-laws, as well as her husband's brother, aunt, uncle, and grandma!  She and her husband shared a room with their daughter.  That's a full house!

Of course I inquired how she managed.  It was the 1940's - she didn't work; she was home all the time with her husband's family, too.  She said she stayed busy raising the baby and by helping her mother-in-law with the cooking and cleaning.

Her husband's family loved having the baby around and really spoiled her.  My friend recalled how it would take an hour to put the baby down at night, because each person had to say goodnight and give kisses.  It was a sweet, funny memory.

I'm sure sometimes it was awkward and uncomfortable.  She said she and her husband didn't fight, though.  Listening to her, I realized that this was just one year in her long life.  They eventually moved out, had their own house and two more babies.  Whatever she might have struggled with, it's long past.  If anything, that time is precious to her because those family members were alive.  She and her husband were young and together.  Her firstborn was a little baby.  So much of her life was still ahead of her.

I can only pray to lead a full life with my husband and our child.  Every moment we have with family is a blessing.  My friend's experience may have been in the last century, but the lessons resonate with me now, in the present.